"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?"

Ever watch Supernanny?

Inevitably, in every single episode, the parent will learn how to put the unruly child in the “naughty chair” and then a war of attrition ensues where the parent puts the child in the chair, the child gets up and runs away, the parent puts the child in the chair again, the child runs away, and so on and so forth, yada, yada, yada until the child eventually stays on the damned “naughty chair”.

Well guess what we did tonight?

In our house, the “naughty chair” or the “time-out zone” is the tile flooring in front of the front door.  We put Jack on the tile and tell him to stay on it until time is up.  He’ll usually jump off a couple of times, which restarts the 2 minute clock, but he usually stays there.  Sometimes he even looks at it as a game and when you ask if he wants to go to “time-out” he says “Yeah!”

Not tonight!

Jack was literally a boomerang.  We’d set him down and off he’d go.  Over and over and over again.  We imagined Nanny Jo walking through the front door ready to show us the video of our utter failure to parent properly.  We finally got him to stay, but we did break the rules a bit.

The idea behind the “time-out” is the kiddo stays in a designated spot and Mom and Dad go back to doing what they were doing.  The little rugrat stays there for a set amount of time then gets set free, only after being told exactly why he was in “time-out” for and having to apologize for his behavior.

We didn’t exactly go back to hanging out.  We stood there, a few feet away from the tiles, waiting for the next jailbreak.  Apparently Master Jack got the idea.  His two minutes expired and he was allowed to return to polite society.  He even got to watch an episode of Dora The Explorer before bed.

This was, by far, the worst display we’ve seen.  Jack’s behavior was flippant, truculent, disrespectful, and just down right RUDE!  We were beside ourselves trying to figure out what brought this on.  Nonetheless, we survived it.  Next time, whether we have to put him back on “the tiles” 25, 50 or 100 times, we will return to business as usual and he will stay there without us hovering over him, waiting to pounce on his first false move.

We’re putting together some tricks of the trade for “time-out” and you can get at them on our Examiner page.  Stay tuned.

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That’s a toughie.

B.J. (that’s before Jack for the uninitiated) I knew The Wiggles were four Australian guys in colored shirts and that’s about it…

Then Jennifer bought the DVD.

Jack was going bonkers on our drives between Wichita and Kansas City. I’m talking two and a half hours of hell on earth. Crying, screaming, whining, kicking…you name it. One of us had to sit in back with him for awhile. That was until we broke down and put the ‘ol “rear entertainment system” in our trendy crossover SUV.

Screens in the seats and DVD player under the driver…PEACE AT LAST!

The Wiggles Big Red Car

One of the first videos Jennifer bought was The Wiggles Here Comes The Big Red Car. Because of some bonehead moves I made when I bought her the car, we weren’t using the factory DVD player in our vehicle. All our stuff was aftermarket and hence, had to be wired through the main stereo system so when Jack watched The Wiggles, we all got to listen to them too.

Catchy stuff, I must admit. I found myself singing along and because songs tend to stick in my head for insanely long periods of time, I would hum the tunes at inopportune times and for no apparent reason except to entertain myself. Oh joy!

At first, young Jack wasn’t as into the Aussie Fab Four as I was. He was developing a crush on every boy’s favorite Latina, Dora the Explorer. Can’t blame him, she is a cutie and a darn good explorer. He also went through a Yo Gabba Gabba! phase, which I thought was interesting merely from the standpoint that pre-schoolers watch the show to learn and college kids watch it when they’re getting high.

Let me get this straight…we’ve gone from Pink Floyd’s The Wall to DJ Lance Rock and Muno as prime intoxication entertainment. I really have been out of school almost 20 years, haven’t I?

To get back on point…one day we found The Wiggles on The Disney Channel and Jack finally found himself ready to take an interest. Of course, I was right there by his side, watching and singing along. I knew those four colorful lads were on YouTube, as well, so I’d grab Jack up, sit him on the couch with me and we’d watch some “Fruit Salad” getting’ made, right on our laptop. While we were at it, we’d check out “Toot Toot Chugga Chugga Big Red Car,” and grab ourselves a “Hot Potato.” We’d close the show with “The Monkey Dance,” and it would be about time for bed.

Who needs reading?

Whoa!!! Back that train up, son. I don’t want this whole story to make you think we only watch TV around here all day. Nothing could be further than the truth. His TV watching is limited and it’s all good quality educational programming for pre-schoolers. We read to him nightly and Jennifer takes him outside quite a bit when the weather is good. I enjoy throwing and kicking his soccer ball with him and he’s quite a good general contractor, or at least he should be with the fleet of tractors he amassed.

Still, The Wiggles are a very special thing that Jackie and I share. We like them for different reasons, but it’s obvious that we both find ourselves extremely entertained when we watch them perform.

The Wiggles and Friends

I think Jack enjoys the bright colored “skivvies” they wear and all the dancing they do. He also likes the simple things they sing about, like chopping up some apples, enjoying cold spaghetti, and listening to “Wags the Dog” bark all night. I know Jack especially loves yelling out, “Wake up Jeff!”

I enjoy how they write very simple, yet entertaining songs and don’t take themselves too seriously. I like how they have a strict code of conduct for all their employees that prohibits alcohol, tobacco and drug use at any time. I also like how they combined their knowledge of early childhood development techniques that they were learning at MacQuarie University in Sydney when they met, with their passion for rock and roll.

The Wiggles really are “your child’s first rock band.” So much so that we’re going to see them LIVE!!! We’ll be in Kansas City on August 1st for the Wiggles concert at The Sprint Center. I don’t who’s more excited, me or Jack.

Probably me because Jack doesn’t know we’re going yet.

“Ahoy there, me hearties!!! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!”